They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
