Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
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She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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