For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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