i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
