Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
