just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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