So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
