does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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