told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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