I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
