was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize