Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
