I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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