I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
