i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
