There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
