Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
