Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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