He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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