Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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