I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
