I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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