Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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