i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
