every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
