I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
