dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
