Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
