that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just pee around me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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