I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this hospital has no fireball
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize