He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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