we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize