honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
