theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
