Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
