East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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