respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Randomize