I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
