it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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