I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize