he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
