I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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