No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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