I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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