I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
