i permit you to call me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
