Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
