Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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