'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
