dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize