we should wear snuggies to the strip club
smell my finger.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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