The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
false alarm, still single
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