none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
