I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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